You Might Be From the South You Might be from the Soutn if: The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeththan your spouse. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinnertable in front of her kids. Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies. You’ve been married three times and still have the samein-laws. You think a woman who is “out of your league” bowls on adifferent night. Jack Daniels makes your list of “Most Admired People.” You think Genitalia is an Italian airline. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms soclean. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, “Hey,y’all watch this!” You’ve got more than one brother named ‘Darryl.’ You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. You go to your family reunion looking for a date. Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,”Gentlemen, start your engines.” You lit a match in the bathroom and your house explodedright off its wheels. You take a six-pack cooler to church. You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, dependingon how much gas it has in it. You have to go outside to get something out of the ‘fridge.One of your kids was born on a pool table. Your dad walks you to school because you are both in thesame grade. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebieat the House of Tattoos. You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your frontyard. Ya can’t get married to yer sweetheart ’cause there’s a lawagainst it. You dated one of your parents’ current spouses in highschool. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wifedrunk. Your school fight song is “Dueling Banjos.” Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.
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