Two builders (Chris and James) are seated either side of a table in a

Two builders (Chris and James) are seated either side of a table in a rough

pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the

bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit…

Chris: – I reckon he’s an accountant.

James: – No way – he’s a stockbroker.

Chris: – He ain’t no stockbroker ! A stockbroker wouldn’t come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the

better of Chris and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees

that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get

the better of the builder…

Chris: – Scuse me…. no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering

what you do for a living?

Suit: – No offence taken ! I’m a Logical Scientist by profession!

Chris: – Oh ! What’s that then ?

Suit: – I’ll try to explain by example …Do you have a goldfish at home?

Chris: – Er … mmm … well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: – Well, it’s logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a

pond. Which is it?

Chris: – It’s in a pond!

Suit: – Well then it’s reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden


Chris: – As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: – Well then it’s logical to assume that in this town if you have a

large garden then you have a large house?

Chris: – As it happens I’ve got a five bedroom house… built it myself!

Suit: – Well given that you’ve built a five bedroom house it is logical to

assume that you haven’t built it just for yourself and

that you are quite probably married?

Chris: – Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children!

Suit: – Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active

with your wife on a regular basis?

Chris:- Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: – Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very

often ?

Chris: – Me? Never

Suit: – Well there you are! That’s logical science at work!

Chris: – How’s that then?

Suit: – Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I’ve told you about

your sex life!

Chris: – I see! That’s pretty impressive… thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Chris returns to his mate.

James: – I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Chris: – Yep! He’s a logical scientist!

James: – What’s that then?

Chris: – I’ll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

James: – Nope

Chris: – Well then, you’re a wanker.

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