Top 15 Complaints of Modern Day Vampires 15

Top 15 Complaints of Modern Day Vampires
15. Grunge look makes it tough to tell living from theundead.
14. Nutrasweet or not, fat-free blood tastes like crap.
13. Hard to get a decent puncture with latex on your fangs.
12. Three Words: Daylight Savings Time
11. Can’t enjoy a meal at Burger King without some redneckyelling, “Look Ma! It’s Elvis!”
10. After 45 years of Communist rule, it’s impossible tofind clean, uncontaminated Transylvanian soil for bottom ofcoffin.
9. After 100 years of trying, still can’t score with Elvira.
8. No bat is safe with Ozzy Ozbourne around.
7. With all those crucifix-wearing Madonna clones, juniorhigh schools are suddenly off-limits.
6. No warm blood for miles around DC.
5. Exhausted from all those Calvin Klein photo shoots.
4. No small task beating F. Lee Bailey to a warm body.
3. Buxom wenches of old have been replaced by aerobicized”hardbodies.”
2. Baboon heart makes everything taste gamey.
And the no1 complaint of Modern-day Vampires: 1. Sick and tired of being mistaken for Keith Richards.

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