The monkeys of Colchester zoo
Enjoy afternoon tea around two,
But their manners I fear
Are decidedly queer
And upset the one solitary gnu.
The wombats of Colchester zoo
Hide in shrubbery all the day through,
But at night they come out
And drink tea from the spout
Of the tea-pot reserved for the gnu.
The jumbos of Colchester zoo
Cool their hides with a bucket or two
Of cold tea as they trumpet
Their lust for that crumpet
Of pachyderm pulchritude Prue.
The peacocks of Colchester zoo
Strut their stuff without further ado
When the peahens have tea
Parties Sundays at three
For they know that the hens love the view.
The peahens of Colchester zoo
Watch the cocks with a snigger or two
And are oft heard to say
As they sip their Earl Grey
‘I’ve seen bigger than that on a shrew.’
The pandas of Colchester zoo,
With their dietary need for bamboo
Which precludes them from tea,
Are quite jealous to see
How the llamas enjoy a good brew.
The llamas of Colchester zoo
Drink their tea in conspicuous view
Of those pandas who long
For a Lapsang Souchong
Or a sweet scented jasmine-leaf brew.
The eagles of Colchester zoo
Prefer camomile tea, so they do,
Because chomping up raw
Cockatoo and macaw
Makes them sick as the parrots they chew.
The jackass of Colchester zoo
Merely laughs at giraffes, and it’s true
They look daft as they sups
Orange Pekoe from cups
Using very tall straws from Peru.
The tigers of Colchester zoo
Enjoy tea in big saucers they do,
For it helps them digest
Both the thighs (and the rest
Of the bones) of their keeper poor Sue