Rejection Lines From Women
(and What They Mean)
I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)
There’s a slight difference in our ages.
(You are one Jurassic geezer.)
I’m not attracted to you in ‘that’ way.
(You are the ugliest jerk I’ve ever laid eyes upon.)
My life is too complicated right now.
(I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.)
I’ve got a boyfriend
(who’s really my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream).
I don’t date men where I work.
(Hey, bud, I wouldn’t even date you if you were in the same ‘solar system’, much less the same building.)
It’s not you, it’s me.
(It’s not me, it’s you.)
I’m concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)
(I’ve sworn off only the men like you.)