Reasons why you should feel sorry… … for Michael Jackson

* His name is an anagram of “He’s jail cock man”.
So he never had a chance, really.

* He once asked Elizabeth Taylor to marry
him and “be his queen”. Despite his offer of
a diamond necklace of twin monkeys with matching
monkey earrings, the heartless bitch refused.

* Instead of hair, he has a wig based on a
plastic membrane which exactly fits his skull.

* Bubbles is dead, not “living in an animal
sanctuary”. To add insult to injury, Michael’s
sister LaToya has been making porn, using the
stage name of… Bubbles.

* He used to keep his weight down with loads of
self-administered enemas… which led to him
having to wear a tampon up his bum to control
embarassing leakage.

* When he was young his brothers called him
“Big Nose”. And now he has no nose at all.

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