LOUD SX: A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ‘I’ve got a big problem, doctor

LOUD SX:

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, ‘I’ve got a big problem, doctor. Every time we’re in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell.’

‘My dear,’ the shrink said, ‘that’s completely natural. I don’t see what the problem is.’

‘The problem is,’ she complained, ‘It wakes me up!’

QUIET SX:

Tired of a listless sx life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent love-making session, ‘How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?’

She glanced at him casually and replied, ‘You’re never home!’

DECEPTIVE SX:

A married woman and her boss were having a torrid affair. One afternoon they couldn’t contain their passion, so they rushed over to his place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o’clock. They got dressed quickly. Then the woman asked her boss if she could wear his wife’s new shoes home. Bewildered, he gave her the shoes, thinking she was acting pretty weird. The woman finally got home and her husband met her at the door. Upset, he asked where she’d been. The woman replied, ‘I cannot tell a lie. My boss and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to his place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That’s why I’m late.’ The husband looked at her, took notice of her shoes and yelled, ‘I can see those are new shoes. YOU DAMN LIAR! You’ve been shopping again, haven’t you?’

CONFOUNDED SX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his ‘manhood’ was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be 3500 for ‘small,’ 6500 for ‘medium,’ and 14,000 for ‘large.’ The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking quite dejected. ‘Well, what have the two of you decided?’ asked the doctor. The man answered, ‘She’d rather remodel the kitchen’

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