| Things Only Women Understand | ||
| Things Only Women Understand Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them. If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart. Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever. Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes alone. Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain consciousness. If at first you don't succeed, see if the loser gets anything. I don't mind the rat race, but I could do with a little more cheese. I had to give up jogging for my health. My thighs kept rubbing together and setting my pantyhose on fire. Amazing! You just hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks two sizes. It is bad to suppress laughter; it goes back down and spreads to your hips. Age is important only if you're cheese or wine. The only time a woman wishes she were a year older is when she is expecting a baby. Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes. Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is DESSERTS" spelled backwards?
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