“I will NOT change my name!! The Van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will
not disrespect my grandfather by changing my name. Not ever.”
The agent said, “Sir, I have worked in Hollywood for years….. you will
NEVER go far in Hollywood with a name like Penis Van Lesbian!! And I’m
telling you, you will HAVE TO change your name, or I will not be able to
“So be it!! I guess, we will not do business together,” the guy said….and
he left the agent’s office.
FIVE YEARS LATER….. The agent opens an envelope sent to his office.
Inside the envelope is a letter and a check for EUR50,000. The agent is
awestruck….who would possibly send him EUR50,000??
He reads the enclosed letter
Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor. You told
me I needed to change my name. Determined to make it with my
God-given birth name, I refused. After leaving your office, I reflected over
our conversation and decided you were right … I had to change my name.
Having too much pride to return to your office, I signed with another agent.
I never would have made it without changing my name, so the enclosed cheque
is a token of my appreciation.
Thank you for your advice.
Dick Van Dyke