Do you know what you call it when a brunette bleaches her hair
blonde? Artificial stupidity.
And now about real blondes….
1.) What do you call an eternity? Four Blondes in four cars at
a four way stop.
2.) Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go
3.) Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the
car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said ‘Disneyland
Left’ so they turned around and went home.
4.) What do SMART Blondes and UFO’s have in common? You always
hear about them but never see them.
5.) What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
Oh look, Daddy…Doughnut seeds.
6.) Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
7.) Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They
think their picture is being taken.
8.) How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax? It has a stamp
9.) Why can’t Blondes dial 911? They can’t find the 11 on the
10.) What do you do if a Blonde throws a pin at you? Run, she’s
got a grenade in her mouth!
11.) How can you tell if a Blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out all over the monitor.
12.) Why shouldn’t Blondes have coffee breaks? It takes too long
to retrain them.
13.) A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every part
of her body with her finger she says, ‘Doctor it hurts everywhere.
My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts, and even my head hurts!’
The doctor asks, ‘Where you ever a Blonde?’ ‘Yes I was.’ she replies.
‘why do you ask?’ The doctor answers, ‘because your finger is
14.) A Blonde and a brunette were walking outside when the brunette
said, ‘Oh look at the dead bird.’ The Blonde looked skyward and
said, ‘Where, where?’
15.) A brunette is standing on some train tracks, jumping from
rail to rail, saying ’21’ ’21’ ’21’ A Blonde walks up, sees her
and decides to join her. She also starts jumping from rail to
rail, saying ’21’ ’21’ ’21’ Suddenly, the brunette hears a train
whistle and jumps off the tracks just as the Blonde is splattered
all over the place. The Brunette goes back to jumping from rail
to rail , counting ’22’ ’22’ ’22’
16.) How do you drown a Blonde? Put a scratch & sniff sticker
at the bottom of the pool.
17.) Why does it take longer to build a Blonde snowman as opposed
to a regular one? You have to hollow out the head.
18.) How do you get a twinkle in a Blonde’s eye? Shine a flashlight
in her ear.
19.) Why don’t Blondes like making KOOL-AID? Because they can’t
fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
20.) Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen
to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
They went to see ‘Closed for Winter’.
21.) Why won’t they hire Blondes as pharmacists? They keep breaking
the prescription bottles in the typewriters.
22.) A Blonde walks up to a Coke machine and puts in a coin. Out
pops a coke. The blonde looks amazed and runs away to get some
more coins. She returns and starts feeding the machine madly and
of course the machine
keeps feeding out drinks. Another person walks up behind the blonde
and watches her antics for a few minutes before stopping and asking
if someone else could have a go. The blonde spins around and shouts
in her face,
‘Can’t you see I’m winning?!’
23.) Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came
to some tracks. The first blonde said, ‘These look like deer tracks,’
and the other one said, ‘No they look like moose tracks.’ They
argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when
the train hit them.
24.) Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door
of their Mercedes with a coat hanger, but they couldn’t. The girl
with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath,
and her friend said
anxiously, ‘Hurry up! It’s starting to rain and the top is down!’
25.) A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her
husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys
a handgun. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in
bed with a beautiful
redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband
jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with not to shoot herself.
Hysterically the blonde responds to her husband, ‘Shut up…you’re
26.) Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a
month to realise she could play it at night.
27.) What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned
in Spring Training.
28.) What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of
the YMCA? ‘Look! They spelled MACY’S wrong!’
29.) Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? To see what
was on the other side.
30.) How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke