Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Rumor – News that travels faster than the speed of sound.

Dictionary – The only place where divorce comes before marriage.

College – A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Ecstasy – A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.

Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Classic – A book which people praise, but do not read.

Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master degree.

Worry – Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.

Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.

Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.

Atom Bomb – An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat – A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Optimist – A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Pessimist – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

Miser – A person who lives poor so that he can die rich

Father – A banker provided by nature.

Criminal – A guy no different from the rest…except that he got caught.

Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

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