Smile – A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Rumor – News that travels faster than the speed of sound.
Dictionary – The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
College – A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Ecstasy – A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
Office – A place where you can relax after your strenuous homelife.
Yawn – The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Committee – Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Classic – A book which people praise, but do not read.
Marriage – It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master degree.
Worry – Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
Experience – The name men give to their mistakes.
Tears – The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by feminine power.
Atom Bomb – An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher – A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat – A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Optimist – A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Pessimist – A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
Miser – A person who lives poor so that he can die rich
Father – A banker provided by nature.
Criminal – A guy no different from the rest…except that he got caught.
Boss – Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician – One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor – A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.