> Dear Employees:

> Dear Employees:
>
> It has been brought to management’s attention that some individuals
> throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of
> normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from
> some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will
be
no
> longer tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of
being
> able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with
co-workers.
>
> Therefore, a list of “TRY SAYING” new phrases has been provided so
that
> proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective
manner
> without risk of offending our more sensitive employees. This way, the
more
> sensitive among us can just refer this list to grasp the real meaning.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> Perhaps I can work late.
> INSTEAD OF:
> And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I’m certain that isn’t feasible.
> INSTEAD OF:
> No fucking way.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> Really?
> INSTEAD OF:
> You’ve got to be shitting me!
>
> TRY SAYING:
> Perhaps you should check with…
> INSTEAD OF:
> Tell someone who gives a shit.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I wasn’t involved in the project.
> INSTEAD OF:
> It’s not my fucking problem.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> That’s interesting.
> INSTEAD OF:
> What the fuck?
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I’m not sure this can be implemented.
> INSTEAD OF:
> This shit won’t work.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> He’s not familiar with the issues.
> INSTEAD OF:
> He’s got his head up his ass.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> Excuse me, sir?
> INSTEAD OF:
> Eat shit and die.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> So you weren’t happy with it?
> INSTEAD OF:
> Kiss my ass.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I’m a bit overloaded at the moment.
> INSTEAD OF:
> Fuck it, I’m on salary.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I don’t think you understand.
> INSTEAD OF:
> Shove it up your ass.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I love a challenge.
> INSTEAD OF:
> This job sucks.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> You want me to take care of that?
> INSTEAD OF:
> Who the hell died and made you boss?
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I see.
> INSTEAD OF:
> Blow me.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> He’s somewhat insensitive.
> INSTEAD OF:
> He’s a prick.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> She’s an aggressive go-getter.
> INSTEAD OF:
> She’s a ball-busting bitch.
>
> TRY SAYING:
> I think you could use more training.
> INSTEAD OF:
> You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing.
>
> Thank You,
> Human Resources
>

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