California Drivers License SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA DRIVER’S LICENSE APPLICATION: Name: ______________ Stage name: ___________________ Agent: ______________ Attorney: ____________________ Publicist _____________ Manicurist/hair stylist ___________Sex: __ male __ female __ formerly male __formerly female __both __ If female, indicate breast implant size: ____ Will the size of your implants hinder your ability to safelyoperate a motor vehicle in any way? Yes ___ No ___Occupation: [ ] Lawyer [ ] Actor/Waiter [ ] Filmmaker/Self-employed [ ] Writer [ ] Car Dealer [ ] Panhandler [ ] Agent [ ] Hooker/Transvestite [ ] Other;please explain: ______________ Please indicate how many times you expect to have sex incar: ____ Please indicate how much you plan to spend for thissex.______ Please list: Brand of cell phone: __________. (If you don’t own a cell phone, please explain.) Please check hair color: Females: [ ] Blonde [ ] Platinum Blonde Teenagers: [ ] Purple [ ] Blue ] Skinhead Men: Please list shade of hair plugs. Please check activities you perform while driving: (Checkall that apply) [ ] Eating a wrap [ ] Applying make-up [ ]Talking on the phone [ ] Slapping kids in the back seat [ ]Having sex [ ] Applying cellulite treatment to thighs [ ]Tanning [ ] Snorting cocaine [ ] Watching TV [ ] ReadingVariety [ ] Surfing the Net via your laptop Please indicate how many times: a) you expect to shoot atother drivers ____ b) how many times you expect to be shot atwhile driving ____ If you are the victim of a car-jacking, you shouldimmediately: a) Call the police to report the crime; b) CallChannel 4 News to report the crime, then watch your car onthe news on a high-speed chase; c) Call your attorney anddiscuss lawsuit against cellular phone company for 911 callnot going through; d) Call your therapist; e) None of theabove (South Central residents only). Please indicate if you drive a: a) Beamer, b) Lexus, c)Mercedes, or d) Toyota. If your answer is D, please add sixto eight weeks to normal delivery time for your driver’slicense. In the event of an earthquake, should you: a) stop your car,b) keep driving and hope for the best, c) immediately useyour cell phone to call all loved ones, or d) pull out yourvideo camera and obtain footage for Channel 4? In the instance of rain, you should: a) never drive over 5MPH, b) drive twice as fast as usual, or c) you’re not surewhat “rain” is. Please indicate number of therapy sessions per week: ____.Are you presently taking any of the following medications?a) Prozac; b) Zovirax; c) Lithium; d) Zantax; e) Viagra. Ifnone, please explain: __________________. Length of daily commute: a) 1 hour; b) 2 hours; c) 3 hours;d) 4 hours or more. When stopped by police, should you a) pull over and haveyour driver’s license and insurance form ready, b) try tooutrun them by driving the wrong way on the 405, c) have yourvideo camera ready and provoke them to attack, thus ensuringyourself of a hefty lawsuit? d) reload before coming to acomplete stop.
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