A piece of road walks into a bar and declares to all the occupants, ‘I’m the
hardest bit of bitumen in the whole of this town!’ The piano player stops
and the bar goes deadly silent. After a brief, pregnant pause, all eyes
drop, the piano starts up again and the piece of road pulls up a bar stool
and settles down to a pint.
Five minutes later a piece of dual-carriageway throws open the bar door.
Once again the bar goes silent, but for the creaking of the slow overhead
fans. The dual-carriageway declares, ‘I’m the toughest piece of bitumen
you’ll ever see this side of the border and I don’t take crap from anyone!’
The piece of road slowly turns and locks eyes with the piece of
dual-carriageway. The tension mounts, other drinkers scatter and take
cover. At that precise moment, in walks a piece of freeway and says, ‘I’m
the hardest bit of bitumen in the whole damn country and I’ll take you both
And there they stood, in a three-way Mexican stand-off, for what seemed like
an eternity. Once again the door opens and into the middle of the stand-off
walks a piece of coloured bitumen.
The other three turn their backs to the door, sit down at the bar and stare
sheepishly into their drinks.
The bartender asks the three pieces of bitumen what the problem is, and they
reply, ‘Shhhh. Watch what you say, that guy’s a real cycle path’.