A man’s revenge !
I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women
differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Mars & Venus
thing. And, I never have figured out why men think with their head andwomen
with their heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual
desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don’t
feel like it, I just want you to hold me.’ I said, ‘WHAT??’ So she says the
words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I
must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I’m
thinking, ‘What was her first clue?’ I finally realize that nothing is
going to happen that night, so I went to bed.
The very next day the we went shopping at a big unnamed department
store… I walked around while she tried on three very expensive
outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her to take
all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth
$200 each to which I say OK. And then we go to the Jewelry Dept. where
she gets a set of diamond earrings. Let me tell you …she was so
excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,
but I don’t think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked
for a tennis bracelet because she doesn’t even play tennis. I think I
threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost
sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when
she said, ‘I’m ready to go, let’s go to the cash register’
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No, honey. I don’t
feel like buying all this stuff now.’ You should have seen her face ..
it went completely blank. I then said, ‘Really honey! I just want you to
HOLD this stuff for a while.’ And just when she had this look like she was
going to kill me, I added,
‘You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man.’
I figure that I should be having sex again sometime during the spring thaw.